Dream Land

Do you remember you dreams? Sometimes as soon as I wake up I loose my dream and can only remember the feel of it. Other times I can remember small snap shots of information. Other times I can remember the entire thing in amazing detail and relay it like it was a movie I watched.

Sometimes I dream about my husband or another person that I know very well except that in my dream they do not look like themselves. They are a completely different person but I know it is really them.

I can still remember the first bad dream that I ever had. My mom got bitten by a turkey and was paralyzed. I had to go to school that day (in my dream) and I was so worried all day that there was no one there to take care of her while she stood like a statue in the doorway to her room.

I dreamt about my daughter while I was pregnant with her and I knew she would look just like she did in my dream. She did, too.

So it has been very different for me lately to be having so many bad dreams about my husband. Dreams that he is with another woman and laughs when I find out or expects me to be happy and excited for him. I know these dreams are probably just my worries about our future and not a representation of how I feel about our marriage right now. In fact, just in case you are now worried, my marriage is the best it has ever been. Chris has never been unfaithful and I know he never will. It is just not in him. My insecurities about our future are more about where we will live and less about if I will be there with him or not. That is unshakable. Chris and I are one and will always be. When I wake up, I know this, but still I am upset at him. My feelings are hurt and I am angry anyway. I know that it is unreasonable to be grouchy at him because of something that happened in a dream but still I feel so unsettled. I explain it to him, what happened in dream land and he laughs and says that it does seem like a bad dream. Then he holds me and it all melts away and goes back to where it belongs. No where.